Tell me what is the point of leaving a bridge standing if all it will cause you is pain

Uhm...

Wow. Well, here's what seems to be going on.

apparently some do not want me to even know their the site for their journals..so why should i leave mine open to them? of course, i found out sites from a very helpful source. some people burn bridges, but i prefer to leave them standing.

I get this feeling that that may be referring to ME changing journals. I must say I feel a little... hurt... by this. If she's talking about me, I could have sworn I gave her the address of this when I changed it, and let her know my new livejournal when THAT changed. It's that last sentence that leads me to believe it's me she's referring to. Because I've burned bridges. I just don't want every single person who knew the location of my old journals to know the location of the new ones. Well, it's everyone BUT one person. And I think we've pretty well cleared THAT one up.

Am I going to lose one of the friends I've had the longest? (There's only one who I've known longer; and our mothers are/were friends, so I've known him since he was 2 and I was 3.)

I do suppose I'll get over it if that happens... The pain will go away with time... It's just that, she lives 4 hours away from me, and I don't get to see her very often, and won't get to see her at all this summer. She's got some shit (we all do, though, so this is really no surprise)... Gott, I feel utterly useless. Completely, thoroughly, entirely useless.

I must be the Absolute Zero of usefulness.

So I suck at hacky sack. *nods* Yep. I do.

Found that out last night. Played some hacky sack with Applebee Ben and a few others after church. And I sucked.

But whatever, dude... I'm over it. *grin*

Ganked from my livejournal, just 'cause.

LJ Friends Meme by coolerq
~ You must tell 22/7 people about this game.
~ Andrew is the one that you love.
~ Michelle is one you like but can't work out.
~ You care most about Bo.
~ Catie is the one who knows you very well.
~ Chelsea is your lucky star.
~ Lullaby is the song that matches with Andrew.
~ Human is the song for Michelle.
~ Epicentre is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.
~ and This Time Imperfect is the song telling you how you feel about life
Take this quiz

Okay... So... What I have to say to this?
~ How the fuck do I send something to pi people? It's not even an integer.
~ Well, certainly crush on Andrew, but love? I don't know. Maybe.
~ Mmm... this could be true, I guess. I'm not sure. There's something different with her because of stuff we have in common...
~ Yeah, this is entirely possible and more probable than I'll admit.
~ Yep. We've known each other since we were in Girl Scouts together at the ripe old age of 5.
~ Hmm... Interesting.
~ Lullaby for Andrew? Well, it is the song I've decided that if I ever get a liebchen I will sing it to them...
~ Yeah, that makes sense. :| That's how I feel sometimes with her...
~ x_X That's a little weird... But, at the same time, yes, it makes some sense or something.
~ Yeah. Sounds good.

Have I mentioned that my shielding is going to shit? Well, it still is.

I don't know what it is. Stress? ... Shit, I have no idea.

Just the other day we were at the park, and although I had nothing to be upset about and wasn't upset, I was FEELING it. A LOT more than normal. Michelle asked me What's wrong? Since I had no reason to be upset, I said Nothing.

But Gott, someone was upset and for some reason I was feeling all of it.

I'm restless, there's something messed up.

Gott, someone make it go away...

Dude, this is funny...

So I really took this from someone else's livejournal before my own...

You're supposed to add "in my pants" to the songs on your playlist.

Assemblage 23 -- Naked in my pants (( how does that work? ))
Assemblage 23 -- Skin in my pants (( well... yeah ))
Assemblage 23 -- You Haven't Earned It in my pants
New Found Glory -- Dressed To Kill in my pants
New Found Glory -- Somethine I Call Personality in my pants
A.F.I. -- Catch A Hot One in my pants
Alien Sex Fiend -- I Walked The Line in my pants (( as opposed to walking it naked, I guess ))
Amorphis -- Crimson Wave in my pants (( that's supposed to happen once a month ))
Avril Lavigne -- Nobody's Home in my pants
Blink 182 -- I'm Lost Without You in my pants (( o_O ))
Bloody Dead And Sexy -- Fingers in my pants
Blue Man Group -- The Complex in my pants
Brand New -- The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows in my pants
Cinema Strange -- Laughing Bloody Murder in my pants
Dashboard Confessional -- Again I Go Unnoticed in my pants
Depeche Mode -- Stripped in my pants
Garbage -- Queer in my pants (( yep! that's me! ))
Green Day -- American Idiot in my pants
Jason Mraz -- You And I Both in my pants
Lifehouse -- Sick Cycle Carousel in my pants
Rammstein -- Ohne Dich in my pants (( "ohne dich" means "without you"... x_x ))
Schwarz Stein -- Transient in my pants
Schwarz Stein -- Current in my pants
Schwarz Stein -- Last Hallucination in my pants
The Killers -- Somebody Told Me in my pants (( and I didn't notice they had them? ))
Cake -- Frank Sinatra in my pants
Everlast -- What It's Like in my pants (( they're comfortable pants ))
The Starting Line -- I'm Real in my pants (( *dies laughing* ))

This song makes me want to cry... (( Assemblage 23 "30,000 Feet" ))

Hello, if you're there pick up the phone
I'm calling from 30,000 feet above you
The captain's just informed us that our plane is going down
So I'm calling for one last time to say I love you

I'm not certain how much time I may have left, so I'll be brief
I'm sorry if this message only amplifies your grief
But I couldn't bear the burden of never having said goodbye
And the pain you feel, I promise you, will go away with time

I'm sorry I won't be there to see our children grow
Please tell them that I loved them more than they will ever know
Tell my family and friends how much I loved them all as well
I'm sure that we will meet again, but only time will tell

I'm sorry most of all I won't be there when you grow old
To be there by your side and keep you warm when you are cold
Forgive me, but I think my time is drawing to a close
So I've one last thing to tell you now before I have to go

I...

I feel as though sometimes I am in a submissive position. It's a little unnerving to me, as I am not submissive under most circumstances. Isn't it just ridiculous that the person who makes me feel like I'm in a submissive position is submissive themselves?

I don't want to be held. I want to hold someone else. That is more comforting to me than being held is. Unless I'm smooshing myself between you and the back of the sofa, in which case I'm sorta holding you and using you as a pillow in one. Then I can feel/hear your heartbeat and breath, and that for some reason reassures me that I am alive. Don't know why.

May you find solace in the gentle arms of sleep
Despite the wolves outside your door
In time you will see them all as harmless
And their idle threats easy to ignore

And if ever fate should choose to smite you
Stand your ground, never walk away
Please don't ever let the world defeat you
Don't get buried in its decay

As you drift into the gauzy realm of dreams
May you take comfort in the thought that you are safe
For it only takes a fraction of a second
For all of this to change

Return to me
When slumber's fog has lifted
Return to me
Stronger than before

As you sink beneath the soothing streams of time
May you be thankful that you had another day
For there comes a time when each of us will enter
A sleep from which we will never wake

And if ever fate should choose to smite you
Stand your ground, never walk away
Please don't ever let the world defeat you
Don't get buried in its decay

Close your eyes now, if only for a moment
For it's time you get some rest
The wolves are gone and nothing here can harm you
Let go of your fragile consciousness

Return to me
When slumber's fog has lifted
Return to me
Stronger than before

When/if ever I get a liebchen, I will sing this to him at night. Or play it, it would probably be better as the original. Assemblage 23, by the way, "Lullaby".