I feel as though sometimes I am in a submissive position. It's a little unnerving to me, as I am not submissive under most circumstances. Isn't it just ridiculous that the person who makes me feel like I'm in a submissive position is submissive themselves?

I don't want to be held. I want to hold someone else. That is more comforting to me than being held is. Unless I'm smooshing myself between you and the back of the sofa, in which case I'm sorta holding you and using you as a pillow in one. Then I can feel/hear your heartbeat and breath, and that for some reason reassures me that I am alive. Don't know why.