Secrets

We've all got them.

Sometimes they're good. Sometimes they're horrific. Sometimes, they aren't anything but secrets.

I have several. I'm not going to share all of them... but I will share some.

1. I fear, above all else, being completely forgotten for the rest of my life. Nobody knows this until now, and it may not make sense because I prefer solitude to company. However, every now and again -- more during the times of year when there isn't anything occupying my time that was filled with school, work, or marching -- I like being able to talk to someone, or even just to listen to someone.

2. I still--still--cannot be friends with someone who I thought I might be able to. I can't even talk to them. It is still too painful.

3. I don't really want anything for Christmas but a steady source of income. A part-time job.

4. Although I am damn sick and tired of being Indistinguishable Backup Friend, I settle for it. At least I have something.

5. Lately, I've found myself wishing I had been born male like the doctors had told my parents I would be. Maybe I'd have a little more freedom that way.

6. I am somewhat afraid to tell him I love him... because he may think I mean it in a different way than I do, or something may happen that renders us on less than speaking terms... or something.

7. I am bitterly jealous of those who have "best friends", for they have someone to rely on. I only have myself.


What are your secrets? Comment anonymously if you don't want people to know they're yours, but I encourage you to share a secret or two... or seven.