05 April 2005

This child feels tiny: listening to "Lullaby", she realises that she wishes she could live like the words are saying -- part of it says please don't ever let the world defeat you ... but she's already done that... she's already done that, and she's only lived 18 years.

This child supposes she realised that this weekend, staying with Calvin and his gamer-geek roommates, and all the stuff that happened... Rocky Horror and Sin City, allergic reaction to lipstick on her face and video games and no money...

This child is sunburned, because she can't wear sunscreen. (boo allergies)

This child won't get anywhere living at home and mooching off her parents' income since she has been so far unsuccessful in her attempts to find a paying job.

This child needs to get the hell out and find a new place to start again.

This child secretly wishes for someone to hit her car because then she would learn to enjoy the world outside again, and her car sucks besides.

This child is beginning to hate this "love" thing, it shouldn't hurt this much, should it?

This child does not understand why she feels the way she does.

This child is finding empathy is not her favourite thing; she would MUCH rather be biokinetic, full human invincibility seems better than physical illness due to others' emotions.

This child wants to cry but cannot.

This child does not want to be a child anymore.

This child needs to go to bed, too, because she has class in seven hours.

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