I guess it's a good thing I'm putting things into boxes for replacing the icky 70's burnt-orange shag carpet. Okay, I didn't have to throw in the description of said carpet, but I felt like it.

It'll make it easier for me when I have to move out. Of course, I will have to find a new phone service when I do that, as well, and I'll have to transfer the things that are saved in my phone to the new one and tell people my new number... but I can do that, no problem. I probably could get a job at Subway even if I don't want to work foodservice, I'll make an exception in this case.

I'm not bitter. I welcome the change that will come at that point.

I can't be myself around the people of my family. I can't be myself around the people of the church I attend. I want to dye my hair hot pink and get my nose pierced and not have people at church give me strange looks and talk about me. I want to wear my corset and not be told I wasted my money on it and not be talked about by the people who are supposed to love me for who I am.

I don't like being stuck in a very religious home, and I want to be able to have my bond with Jesus as I want it to be. I'm not into this whole "you've got to love your neighbour as yourself, but you have to shun queers and can't love them even though they're your neighbours too" thing that the churches in my area have going on. I'm not going to stop associating with queers: I'd have to stop associating with myself then too.

Of course, if I *told* my parents what I am and/or what I want to do, they'd probably kick me out. And I'm ready for that change. I've got somewhere to go, a family who will accept me as I am and keep me as their own. Shit, I practically already am as it is.