I am changing now even more than I had ever thought could be possible in such a short time.
Three weeks ago I didn't know if I would be able to march this summer. I didn't know what I'm going to do with my life. I didn't know if there was anyone in this town who I could connect with, not even necessarily the people I've known the longest. I didn't know a lot that I know now, and I was unsure of the future.
Now... I'm still unsure of the future. But I know exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to major in psychology/social work, and I want to be a dominatrix. I'll be able to march this summer if I can find someone who will let me stay with them from June to August. I can't get a job because I march corps, but I'm all right with that until August. After DCIs, I'm going to get a job. No if's, and's or but's. There is someone here who I can connect with, most definitely, and we have more in common than I thought we had back when we met... 6? 7? years ago. We've been friends since then. They're also one of the few people who I've known a long time who I haven't had a real fight with. We share common BDSM interests and Empathy. It's nice to be able to connect with someone on such a deep, emotional level even without meaning to or trying to. I'm probably going to be leaving home sometime this semester, or if not this semester I will in August. And I know where I'll be going...
And... No, I'm not "straight". I never have been. It's called pansexuality, and it's different than bisexuality. I'm attracted to utterly androgenous types. That's what it means, in my case. Just 'cause a guy spits, knows a lot about guns and cars, likes to drive fast, drinks beer... all those typically "masculine" things... Sure, do those if you want. But it's cool if you like to dress in women's clothing, too. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'll have you wear makeup. I'm not bothered by going on a date with someone who appears to be a woman. And, shit, I'm androgenous on the inside already, and apparently I'm good at genderfucking. (Uhm, that's a term used to describe when someone confuses others as to which sex they are, basically.) I'm an alternator of genders. I love it. So, yes, I am queer. But it's cool.
I'm just letting you all know. It's who I am, and if you can't handle that I'm sorry. I'm no different than I was before except now I don't have to be quiet about myself.
I feel liberated now. I can say what I want to say about subjects, I can talk shit about random things if I want to, I have more freedoms since I have someone to talk about interests with. It's a very good, though kind of unsettling, feeling.
Three weeks ago I didn't know if I would be able to march this summer. I didn't know what I'm going to do with my life. I didn't know if there was anyone in this town who I could connect with, not even necessarily the people I've known the longest. I didn't know a lot that I know now, and I was unsure of the future.
Now... I'm still unsure of the future. But I know exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to major in psychology/social work, and I want to be a dominatrix. I'll be able to march this summer if I can find someone who will let me stay with them from June to August. I can't get a job because I march corps, but I'm all right with that until August. After DCIs, I'm going to get a job. No if's, and's or but's. There is someone here who I can connect with, most definitely, and we have more in common than I thought we had back when we met... 6? 7? years ago. We've been friends since then. They're also one of the few people who I've known a long time who I haven't had a real fight with. We share common BDSM interests and Empathy. It's nice to be able to connect with someone on such a deep, emotional level even without meaning to or trying to. I'm probably going to be leaving home sometime this semester, or if not this semester I will in August. And I know where I'll be going...
And... No, I'm not "straight". I never have been. It's called pansexuality, and it's different than bisexuality. I'm attracted to utterly androgenous types. That's what it means, in my case. Just 'cause a guy spits, knows a lot about guns and cars, likes to drive fast, drinks beer... all those typically "masculine" things... Sure, do those if you want. But it's cool if you like to dress in women's clothing, too. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'll have you wear makeup. I'm not bothered by going on a date with someone who appears to be a woman. And, shit, I'm androgenous on the inside already, and apparently I'm good at genderfucking. (Uhm, that's a term used to describe when someone confuses others as to which sex they are, basically.) I'm an alternator of genders. I love it. So, yes, I am queer. But it's cool.
I'm just letting you all know. It's who I am, and if you can't handle that I'm sorry. I'm no different than I was before except now I don't have to be quiet about myself.
I feel liberated now. I can say what I want to say about subjects, I can talk shit about random things if I want to, I have more freedoms since I have someone to talk about interests with. It's a very good, though kind of unsettling, feeling.
posted by The Mastermind at 23:35
1 Comments:
Which little paragraph? The one about the BDSM and Empathy?
... Yes.
Post a Comment
<< Home