So AIM isn't working. I'm trying to stay on, but the connection keeps failing. It's a bit crap.

I wish AIM was working, there are some people I would like to talk with tonight... I wonder if it will work on the computer downstairs. Maybe there's something between the wireless signal sender thing (I forgot the word, give me a break) and my computer that's not letting stuff connect like it's supposed to.

On a side note, my license picture is not bad enough for my dad to make fun of me for it.

It's like... I feel terrible for wondering this, you'd think I might know by now...

And I hate this crap of, waiting, does he or does he not? I've become much more patient than I used to be, but in this aspect I am TERRIBLY impatient.

I'm just kinda worried... I mean, I shouldn't be, I talked to him Wednesday and he didn't seem to be totally freaked by the whole thing. So maybe it's all right. I'm still fine, whichever way it works out, but I don't want to put too much in if all I'm going to get out of it is... nothing. I mean, it would just make more sense for me to pursue someone (or whatever) who I have reasonable belief will also put stuff into the relationship. I'm just picky or something. No, it's not that I'm picky, it's that because for so many years I was the target of a lot of shit at school, I can't trust people very well anymore. It's hard for me to trust someone until I've known them for a very long time.

Drum corps has changed that, in a way. I mean... I'd say I trust Chelsea, and Rachael, and boy, and several of the other people I marched with last summer, and even some of the people on DCP who I haven't even met in real life.

I'd say I trust Catie, and Michelle... and there's got to be some degree of trust with Justin if I'm going to let him put ink in me. I trust Michelle's choice though; he is a good guy. But I'm kinda digressing there. It's not about decisions I trust, it's about who I trust. And, frankly, it isn't very many people, taking into account how many of them I know. And it's not about the people I've known for 6 years or longer.

I probably won't be able to go to Otakon, we have a rehearsal that weekend... I really wanted to go. =/ Sorry, Andrew. Maybe there's another con we can go to sometime. Or something. We'll have to figure something out. If you find another one you might want to go to, let me know. 'Cause I'm still interested in going to one. Seriously.

Gash, it's nearly midnight, I really need to quit this whole "stay up until it's 1-digit hours and then go to bed" thing.

I feel like I miss so much when I leave for the weekend. =| Whatever, those people don't keep up with me much anyways.

I'm not bitter. Maybe I'll eventually start believeing that, if I keep telling myself so.